Thursday, January 3, 2019

Asking for Advice... and Not Taking It

So, I'm all for helping people out, answering questions.  But the one pet peeve I have is when people ask for advice, and do the exact opposite.  A story that I've told a lot of people involves a family that adopted two chinchillas. 

They get home that night, and tell me the chins aren't acting as friendly at home, as they were at the rescue.  I asked what the family had been doing since they'd gotten home, and as it turned out, they'd had the chins out of their cage the entire time since they'd been home.  I explained to the family, it would be good to let them settle in, and I shared how with our rescues, we give them a month to decompress before they even have a chance to become available.  I told them, obviously, they don't need to do that long, but let them settle in.  They said they would try to leave them alone for the rest of the night.  Next day, I receive more texts about how they're not calm and they're acting crabbier, and I again explain, let them settle in for a few days.  I even acknowledge that I understand they're new pets and they're adorable and they want to get them out, but for the sake of having a good, long relationship... let them settle in first.  This went on for a few days, until I got to the point where I sent a text:  "you're supposed to be leaving them alone."  And I left it at that.  They kept asking the same questions and expecting a different answer, and that's not how this all works. 

Low and behold, a few days later, I received this text that basically was like, "you were right!  We let them settle in and they're doing much better!" and so on and so forth.  Imagine that, after almost 16 years (it was like...14 then), I might have some idea what I'm talking about.  Lol.

See the thing is, I want to help.  But I do enough repeating myself over and over, to different people, all the time.  Most people ask the same questions, so certain answers are down pat.  But I particularly would prefer not to repeat the exact same answer to the same person, time and time again.

A more recent example... I had a family come to adopt, and they asked if a small dog crate would be good for transport.  I told them, possibly... but measure the bar spacing, if it's more than 1", bring something else or I will give them a carrier.  The day comes for pickup, and they bring the dog crate.  Just looking at it, I debated if it was really 1" or less bar spacing, but I figured they measured it.

We put the chin in, and she was out again in less than a minute.  I asked the people, had we talked about the dog crate?  Had they measured?  Oh yes, we had, but they figured it would be alright without measuring, the bars weren't that far apart.  *face palm*  I didn't ask them to measure just so I could see it typed out on the screen!  I asked because I wanted to be sure the chin couldn't escape.  Thankfully, the chin escaped from the crate while they were still at the rescue... but what about if they were on their way to the car and the chin got out?  I asked for a reason.

I think what it all boils down to is this -- if you ask a question, and the answer either isn't a simple yes or no, or isn't what you were hoping for -- you might listen to it, as there may be a reason that person went into more detail.  That is all.

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